Punk Kids

Listen here you punk-ass kids. I am sick and tired of waking up to go to work, walking out to my car and realizing that one of the windows is broken. The first time around, I was upset. This time, I am just pissed.

Here's the thing you jerks. You never find anything good to steal. You can't hustle broken glass man, why not check out the car before you break in, you know, make sure there's something good to take.

You never broke into my hoopdee '88 Taurus. Why terrorize the Kia so? Just because it is a new car doesn't mean there's expensive stuff inside. In fact, now that I actually have to pay for that car, I have less money to buy expensive things. And, if I had expensive things, I certainly wouldn't be leaving them out in 3 degree weather.

Also, I hope you know that any decently intelligent person does not keep anything of value in their glove box. That's just stupid. What are you thinking? That I keep hundreds of dollars in there just in case? Why must you spite me further by delicately hanging my car freshener spray on the edge of the open compartment while leaving all the papers relatively neatly inside?

If you're going to cost me another $200.09 to purchase another replacement window, you might as well mess things up a bit and really stick it to me with a disaster when I wake up. I mean really, at least steal SOMETHING worth while. I have a $200 stereo. Why wouldn't you try to make this break-in worth your while and at least ATTEMPT to take it?

Here's another thing. GET A JOB! Maybe, if you were gainfully employed, you wouldn't have to go around breaking in to people's cars. Maybe you could get a paycheck and buy liquor and drugs that way. I'm pretty sure you're not doing this to feed your starving mother. I'm pretty sure you're doing it because you're lazy.

What's your problem man?