Uggghhhh, Men

Because all the men in my life have chosen to be 1) assholes, 2) idiots, or 3) completely unreliable, I've developed a new plan to find someone to pay me some attention in a consistent manner. This is why I've decided to pick up a black boyfriend from the gas station. Every time I fill up my tank at the local gas station (27th and Wisconsin), I get hit on and asked for my phone number. Previously I've developed elaborate stories involving my pretend boyfriends to keep these men from bothering me. But now, it almost seems reasonable to hand my phone number out to men at the gas station. In order to find the best possible gas station boyfriend, I've developed a list of minimum, very low standards.

1) Must have all of his teeth, no grill
2) Must have some sort of job, really doesn't matter what kind of job it is, as long as it is a job
3) Must be under the age of 28
4) Must not drive a hoopdee
5) Potentially has a matching black friend for Courtney to date, as she is equally fed up with men

That's really it.