I'll never be one of those high-heeled, classy ladies

This morning I woke up to a throbbing pain on the right side of my body.
Realizing quickly that this was clearly a case of "drunken-injury," I scanned my memory trying to find the source of all my pain.

This situation was similar in nature to the time I woke up with a bloody foot that required medical attention and no one could remember me hurting myself. It was reminiscent of countless table-height bruises on my legs and hips caused by nothing other than gracefully walking into things. It was kind of like that night I was trying to run through my old kitchen and slipped on some beer, wiping out and hitting my head on the cabinets.

Thinking through all past scenarios, it suddenly came to me - I fell down a flight of stairs last night. No wonder I'm in pain. The sad thing is, I made it hours after falling without even noticing I was hurt and this morning I can barely move and/or breathe.

Grace and poise will never be used to describe me and I'm completely okay with that.